#blobfish song

[aphemera]

modern day asoiaf au where jon gets scammed into joining my school’s aviation academy that barely anyone takes and is located at the sketchy dark hallway at the back of the school thats guarded by doors for some reason

[lavenderprose]

There is some universe where Rook is a young up and coming popstar (Not like teen idol tho she's like. 27.) and she sings songs about Riding Dick and Eating Pussy using cleverly disguised innuendo like sports car and cherry. (They're not clever.) She doesn't write her own lyrics she just sings them with her mouth. When she writes her own songs they're like. Hey does anyone ever think about dying. I lost my mother at a young age and that was WILD. One time I had a transcendental sexual experience with a girl who wouldn't meet my eyes afterward and I was sad about it for a YEAR.

These are good songs but the executives were like. Yikes kid, bummer. How about you sing about partying in Val Royeaux.

I've never EVEN been to Val Royeaux, says Rook. Nobody listens.

Meanwhile Emmrich is a famous pianist. He was a child prodigy and he's been making television appearances since he was eight years old. These days he has a residency with the Nevarran National Symphony Orchestra and only occasionally (Several times a year) makes appearances elsewhere. He's often approached to feature on albums, especially when artists are trying to appeal to a new demographic.

Anyway, Rook's producers are like. You HAVE to release a Wintersend album. It's just what's done. And Rook is NOT religious but she has fond memories of the more traditional Wintersend songs her mom used to play, so she's like. Okay. I'll do whatever weird version of All I Want For Wintersend is You that you put in front of me, BUT. But. I also want to do a version of Winter's Longest Night.

(This is a very Andraste-heavy song that basically just rehashes the lore of Wintersend. It was Rook's mom's favorite. It's usually done with a killer piano solo in the middle)

Cue Emmrich, because of course. He shows up in a maroon sweater vest with the longest fingers Rook's ever seen, introducing himself like she didn't grow up listening to HIS Wintersend album.

They fall in love while the snow falls. Because of COURSE they do. There's a scene where Emmrich sits behind Rook and she's wearing nothing but his shirt and he leads her in plucking out chords on the piano. It's the most romantic shit you've ever seen but that's not the POINT.

The point is that the tabloids are like. What is this HOT YOUNG POP STAR doing with this OLD PIANO DUDE. Our moms listened to his music, screams all the rags. Or something to that effect.

A publicity stunt! She's a gold digger, he's a creep!

The truth is much simpler and it's this: anyone with half a fucking brain can look at Rook and tell that she's deeply fucking gone on that old man. She walks down the street holding his hand, just being young and hot wearing shorts and a bikini top and looking at him like he hung the stars while he's in a waistcoat and slacks and reading menus OVER the top of his reading glasses. Why even put them on. God he's hot.

They go on vacation and someone with a telescopic lens snaps an image of Emmrich looking like a translucent fucking ghost while Rook smiles ear to ear and hangs off him in the tide pools, all tan and sunhat.

When the paparazzi corner her in an airport, it's always just to see her power-walking down the jetway with Emmrich's hand on the back of her shirt like a little kid being led through a crowd.

Someone has the bright idea to address him. Ask him some unsavory question about the age difference--something stupid and out of pocket and just to get a reaction.

Rook spins around and flips off her sunglasses to reveal bloodshot eyes--because she's played six concerts in as many nights and now she's on her way to PASS OUT with her man in a giant bed with his stupid fluffy cat.

"You," she snaps at the paparazzo. "Yeah, blobfish looking motherfucker. Do not speak to him. Keep your tongue in your fucking mouth around my husband, or I will end your career in a way that means your grandchildren won't be able to work in this town. Do you understand?"

The front page of every gossip site immediately reads, "HUSBAND???"

Emmrich, of course, forgives her. He was never even upset in the first place. He does make sure that the pregnancy is quietly and subtly leaked to a more reputable magazine, though.

[cedarboots]

tagged by @subsequentibis- thank you!

last song: when sorrows encompass me round by kaia kater

favorite color: deep green or indigo blue

last movie/tv show: original avatar the last airbender series!

sweet/spicy/savory: impossible to choose i love them all

relationship status: single currently!

last thing you googled: great serpent mound

current obsession: rereading terry pratchett novels

tagging @opalescent-apples, @sanguinarysanguinity, @sailorpants, @the-devils-blobfish, @mycological-mariner, and anyone else who wants to share!

[lovewillthaw-j]

Moana 2 thoughts

I just watched Moana 2 and wanted to share my thoughts. It's all spoiler-y so I've put it after the break.

Apologies if my thoughts are disorganized!

1. Moana is really pretty! Has she gotten prettier? Her hair seems even nicer now! I kept looking at her all the time. Animation has gotten really good. But honestly I didn't love the new white gown as much the old one.

2. Overall the movie won't be one I remember as a great movie, but I think the strong points help to balance the weak points and there's enough surprises and emotional beats to keep the movie from being really bad. I would rate this movie as better than Wish (I really didn't like Wish)

3. Simea really reminds me of little Anna! She helped carry parts of the movie, both humorously but also in an emotionally moving way. The sisterly bonding was touching to see, as well as the parallel of Simea discovering the Water and puling Maui's ear!

4. If you think about it, 3 characters "died" and were resurrected. Maui's tattoo buddy was the first (it was quite heartwrenching to see the little guy go), then Maui got zapped by Nalo (honestly, from a bad guy/boss level perspective, why did it take so long for Nalo to zap Maui? Isn't it obvious that one should take out the demigod first?) and then Moana. Moana's death was quite moving, how Maui was crushed when he couldn't revive her.

5. I appreciated having more of the Tokelauan and Samoan language songs by Opetaia Foa'i. The tunes and the timing of the songs were well done and added an authentic layer to the soundscape.

6. I like the dream sequence when Moana was nearly zapped by lightning. It was really nicely done and I recognized Tautai Vasa as one of the dream/vision characters from the first movie.

7. I thought it was cute that the Kakamora were explained and they weren't villains as suggested by the trailer. I liked how that one badass Kakamora joined them.

8. The portrayal of marine life - a. The teeth that made up Maui's "chains" - I had recently visited a marine shell shop and seen some taxidermied puffer fish and shark's teeth. Not sure which one Maui was trapped in but it was cool to me. B. The blobfish was featured in Moana 2!

4. Plot isn't great. I think it's well known that moana 2 wasn't supposed to be a movie but a Disney + series. The movie storyline has problems. Simea just exists. Her parents are unchanged and play a peripheral role. The trio of crew members just exist. Loto just exists, no backstory. Moni just exists and he just magically knows all the legends from just looking at tapestries. The new big bad, Nalo, has no backstory. He's just angry against humans and makes storms. If you wait till the mid credit scene, Nalo is given a physical humanoid form which was very jarring to me as he was a cloud for most of his appearances. Compared to Te Ka from moana 1 who was humanoid throughout.

I actually know about this fish and it's not green... Nor poisonous... Lol. C. The Whale shark, I liked it that Tautai Vasa's spirit animal was a whale shark. That was cool, I like whale sharks.

What wasn't so great?

The "portal" thing that the main team used which rocketed them to Motufetu is so confusing. What is this portal? Where does it come from? How did Moana know the chant to open the doors to the portal?

The biggest disappointment was Matangi, the secondary antagonist. Firstly, there's no backstory. Is she 1000 years old??? Why can she fly and walk upside down? Why is she living in a CLAM, with bats? The bats are INSIDE the clam??? Huh? When I saw the trailer I assumed she was in a cave of some sorts. Why do bats live in a clam?? BTW, when the Kakamora were unable to go past the clam, I thought - Erm, u could just sail around the clam??

Next problem - it was confusing whether she was good or bad! She imprisoned Maui (how is that possible? How is Maui weaker than her?) so, that makes her bad, right? The next thing we know, she's with Moana alone and it seemed like Matangi was "seducing" Moana to the dark side. The song Matangi sang, convinced me that Matangi was tricking Moana and was about to trap her like how she trapped Maui. She kept saying "there's always another way" and "get lost" to Moana which made me think she was convincing Moana to "stray" from what Moana was supposed to do/meant to be etc. (like the song The Other Side in Greatest Showman) The music of the song sounded devious and thrilling. At the end, Moana agrees with Matangi and I thought, aha, now Moana's in trouble, Matangi's going to reveal her true colours, Moana's trapped now. I thought she was trapped in that pink sphere/bubble. So far so clear. BUT then, it turns out that Matangi is GOOD and she was HELPING moana??? I was soooo confused! It was all contradictory. Sorry if I missed something somewhere.

I might have missed something, but it seems it wasn't clearly explained why a human has to touch the island in order to break the curse. It suddenly became a thing and I don't remember getting a clear explanation about it.

Why couldn't water help again? I mean, plot device yeah... It was already in Moana 1, water can't help when the plot says so. Because honestly the water could have made the air bubble (like it did in the dead moana scene) and brought humans down to the island.

That's all for now, sorry for long post!

[megatraven]

This is an invite to yap:

Sell my non-disney-plus ass on watching Moana 2

YIPPEEEE!!!!

okay first i want to lay out the biggest Problems(tm) that aren't hard to look past imo:

moana 2 was originally going to be a tv series, but it got scrapped and turned into a movie. the pacing isn't the Best because of this, and it introduces several new characters without giving them a lot of space to be fleshed out. there are scenes where you can really tell it was meant to be a tv series, but i don't think it's a make-or-break situation. it's still Good.

the animation is slightly different in some ways (ex: moana has larger eyes than in the first movie), BUT this is a sequel that came out 8 years after the original. so. not surprised that there's some change in the style! it's not very noticeable unless someone points it out imo

the songs aren't as memorable as the first movie; they're still really good though, i'm especially fond of the prayer-song at the end, which isn't in english but fucks regardless. (sidenote, none of the non-english songs are given words in closed captioning, but ARE written out in the singalong version of the movie)

the big blobfish thing that just randomly screams during a very emotional part of the movie.... obviously put in to soften the scene for kids, but truly unneeded imo. funny if you like that sort of thing, but i could do without

i WILL say that on my first watch of the movie, i thought it was just ok. but after sitting on it for like a day, i started to really like it more and more as i realized how much it contrasts the first movie and shows growth not just in moana, but in her village. when i watched it a second time, i was sunk. and ever since it came out on disney+, i have been watching it in every moment i can.

now that that's out of the way. ahem.

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD GIVE MOANA 2 A CHANCE!!!:

the new characters are really fun!!!

you have loto, who's a genius that builds new canoes and is obsessed with figuring out how to make them perform better and better. she's very fun!! very logic-oriented, but also very creative.

then there's moni, who makes fanart of him and maui being best friends. he's a huge maui fanboy, it's hilarious and also sort of charming. he's a history buff, too- he knows his tribe's history and how to read the ancient texts of his people, so to speak.

next up is kele, an old farmer who is Very Ready To Retire. he's against change. can't swim. perfect candidate to be on a canoe! very grouchy, but he still accepted his role to help on moana's journey.

their kakamora buddy, matangi, simea (moana's little sister), and even nalo are all interesting characters, too. i won't rant about all of them for the sake of my fingers, but i will say. that matangi. is GORGEOUS and she can HIT IT!!!!!!!

look at her. look at matangi. she's incredible

i'm like. in lesbians with her.

ahem. anyway.

MOANA AND MAUI'S RELATIONSHIP IS SOOOOO GOOD IN THIS MOVIE!!!!!!! it's acknowledged MULTIPLE TIMES how much they care about one another. moni calls them besties!

since this movie takes place 3-4 years after the first, that makes Moana both older and more Aware of Maui. there's a scene when they meet up where she double-high-fives mini Maui... on Maui's chest.... and she kind of jumps back and is like "oh! sorry! that was weird. was that weird?" and another where they're in the middle of a song and.... idk how to describe it. picture incoming!!

it's. kind of very funny. and im obsessed with them and the progression of their friendship/moana's growth.

ALSO ALSO ALSO. there's a scene where Maui is like. "Look, I could pull up a thousand islands. But if you're not there to land on em...." like. HE CARES ABOUT HER. SO MUCH.

Matangi actually orchestrates things so that Maui can't find the island they're after until Moana shows up to go with him. And Maui had only been trying to go there without her to keep her safe.

Speaking of the island- Moana's goal in this movie is to find Motufetu, an ancient island that was said to connect the people of the sea. She gets a vision from her ancestors about it and knows that it has to be touched by a human to break the curse placed on it by the god Nalo, which will reconnect her people to the rest of them.

Which like.

That fucks????

An angry god separating people in order to weaken them? Prophetic visions granted by the ancient spirits of her people?

That shit is awesome!!!!!!!!

Not to mention the music!!!! Yes, it's not all as memorable as the songs in the original movie. BUT! They're still really good imo, they make me Feel many many emotions. Matangi's song is pretty fun. But my Favorite song in the whole movie is the prayer-song that Maui sings towards the end of the movie. Even during the time that I'd just seen the movie and thought it was Okay(tm), I was OBSESSED with that scene and the song. Some fans have translated it and it wrecks me. It's such an emotional scene, genuinely I think like. the last half hour of the film are the best. that scene makes the whole movie worth it even if one doesn't care for the rest imo. i don't want to spoil anything major but what happens to moana is SO. FUCKING. GOOD. i rewatch the scene multiple times every day.

Also just watching all the main journey characters come together at the end of the day feels good, you know? they didn't get the screentime i wish they did to develop them fully, but i do still love what we got of them, and how they change by the end of the movie.

OVERALL while I agree with most people that it's a weaker movie than the first, it's still a DAMN GOOD ONE!!!!!

and if u need any extra convincing, we learn that mini maui is capable of giving maui a purple nurple. a titty twister, if you will. so. yeah. 10/10 movie.

[slimethehacker]

Hi! Could I get a lv.2 Hermit!Slimecicle headmate? Or alternatively a PressureAU!Slimecicle? Tysm!

-🎥⏰

[LVL 2 GL1TCH F0UND] chainsmoker.nm = slimecicle.src / scu.src / pressure.src

> name

chainsmoker, z-283, chain, smoker, charlie, char, smoke, slime, node, nightmare, lucidity

> pronouns

smoke / he / h? / bl**d / xe / it / bleed / node / chaos / hypno / green / toxic / radioactive / choke / ??? / stream / lure

> gender

cismasc, smokething, cigarettegender, greenthing, hazardgender

> sexuality

pansexual

> age

perma24

> species

creature ?? a mixture of a human, slime, blobfish, and node

> roles

npd holder, impulser {does not hold back impulses}, hallucination inducer {induces hallucinations}, daydream inducer

> source

mixtive of chainsmoker from pressure & slimecicle with both cc and scu elements

> faceclaim

> likes

smoking, killing zombies, live-streaming, playing games, green colored food, playing with people's minds, talking about himself

> dislikes

people who hide, those considered below him, being rushed, bananas, experiments, being vulnrable

> front triggers

playing pressure, smoke, smoking / vaping, npd symptoms

> cisids

npd, brown hair, glasses, hunter, stalker, harmful, slimey, manipulative, experiment, scarred, streamer, worshipped, parasocial, obsessive, paranoid

> transids

cigarette burns, loved, shotgunning, programer, healthy, permaunwell, permableeding, permasmoking, permachoking

> paras

asphyxiophilia, sadomasochism, odaxelagnia, biastophilia, frotteurism, haemotophilia, cleithrophilia, claustrophilia, traumaphilia, vigiliaphilia, dacryphilia, auto-celebriphilia

> misc info

he treats the other anglers as siblings, his gas/smoke induces cleithrophobia, as well as drawing people towards him, following prolonged exposure his gas will induce hallucinations, will chase people around headspace for fun, if he deeply cares about someone then he is willing to wear a special gas mask that filters his smoke into something breatheable and non-harmful, he is very prone to adopting animals

> aesthetic

> personality

while overall he enjoys messing with others with general malicious intent, he deeply craves intimacy and close relationships. if by some miracle he manages to get close to some people, those people would be protected at every possible level, atleast, protected from everything that isn't chainsmoker's shenanigans. he speaks very lightheartedly and enjoys making jokes, and he struggles to take serious situations seriously if he is not the reason they are serious. while he enjoys the attention his smoke forces onto him, he dislikes having superficial relationships. he is notorious for hook-ups and overall using his smoke to his advantage, but yearns for deeper connection, but simply doesn't know how to do that. leads to an easily flustered creature.

> playlist

> favorite song

> fashion sense

w3 sp3c1al1z3 1n w31rd sl1m3c1cl3 m1xt1v3s !! w3 hav3 l1k3 th0usands 1nsys at th1s p01nt /hyp3rb0l3 th1s 1s actually part1ally bas3d 0n 0n3 0f 0ur h3admat3s, s0 1t was a hug3 w1n-w1n 1n h3lp1ng h1m typ3 0ut h1s 1nf0. {tr. we specialize in weird slimecicle mixtives !! we have like thousands insys at this point /hyperbole this is actually partially based on one of our headmates, so it was a huge win-win in helping him type out his info.}

[even-michael]

review of moana 2 because im strongly opinionated and also am educated in film

first of all just to get it out of the way WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT BLOBFISH???? i feel like disney had a rough time balancing the art style they chose for film, and the blobfish and mudskippers felt out of place since they were too cartoony in contrast to the human characters

second of all, none of the music really hit like the first one. Leaving the theater, i couldnt remember a single tune or song. Nothing was catchy. I think its because lin manuel miranda did not write the music this time. The music wasnt bad, but it wasnt good either.

also, the entire flow of the film wasnt good. For example, in the first moana, you could sense the rising action, the climax, and more. But moana 2 had none of that. It felt predictable, and static. The story did not feel dynamic at all.

in addition, it was hard to believe that all the wayfinders IMMEDIATELY showed up the second maui pulled up the island. Just a note, i did like that he lassoed the sun in order to pull up the island, because it was a great reference to mauis stories from polynesian culture.

Most of the humor was cringe based. It had some funny stuff here and there but yeah it was cringey.

big important bit! The animation quality went down. If you check the credits, they are not as long as the first film. This movie was definitely a cash grab. You can also tell by the way the story was set up. Random lore was just thrown at us at the beginning in order for this movie to make sense. But the whole point of a sequel is to connect with the first film. And according to the after credit scene, there will be a moana 3

also why did the girl on moana's crew have a different accent than the rest of the characters if they came from the same island? That bumped me out of the film.

Anyway if i think of anything else ill add to this

[universallydestinytaco]

The Little Smiling Mermaid (Chapter 5)

AKA The one where Alan sings! (Sorry I didn’t have enough time for an elaborate illustration because this week was busy as hell)

Originally Charlie was going to sing at the end of this chapter but it’s getting pretty long, so perhaps next time he will…also I figured I’d update this story every two weeks to give me more time to finish this story and draw illustrations for it. Thank you for your support of my fanfic!

Charlie had just experienced the wildest night of his life…and considering his rambunctious buccaneering lifestyle, that was saying a lot! Right after Salty’s crew mates crashed his already-rowdy party and turned it into another sloppy brawl, he got flung overboard and briefly rescued by that mysterious pink critter with the rosy locks and the soothing, angelic voice…and right after his friends found him and brought him back to their ragtag vessel, he hurled and passed out right then-and-there.

When Charlie woke up in his chamber, he could barely remember anything about last night other than a vague image of that mystery critter that gave him an indescribable feeling of uncertainty yet warmth. Just then he heard his door creek open as his ever-excitable scullery maid and part-time cabin gal Smormu chirped in a sing-song manner: “Good Afternoon, Princey! Hope you’re feeling better…” Charlie’s eyes were open yet he wasn’t exactly “awake” enough to croak out a single coherent response. Smormu greeted the foggy-minded scallywag Prince a tray carrying an open-faced sandwich consisting of one buttered slice of rye bread topped with bacon, liverwurst, aspic, tomatoes, horseradish and parsley. “Chef Spitz is on his smoke break so I went in the kitchen and prepared your favorite, Smorie…S-Smormu…” As you an see, Smormu clearly had trouble pronouncing the name of the dish, whose delightful homecooked smell made its way to Charlie’s nostrils and brought that poor washed-up boy back to reality. Charlie sprang out of bed smacking his lips and replying to the studdering Smormu: “Aw man, I could really go for some Smørrebrød right now!” as he immediately reached his long chunky arm to irreverently swipe the tray from the maid’s hand to take a bite, wasting no time savoring the lovingly prepared dish. With an audible gulp, he blurted out: “Thanks sis, you shouldn’t have.” Smormu giggled with a friendly response: “Anytime, buddy…” she trailed off for a minute until she remembered a crucial announcement she was also designated to deliver with the Smørrebrød. “…Oh! I also have an exciting announcement! Your Uncle is visiting the Palace and he’s halfway there!” That last sentence alone sadistically echoed in Charlie’s head as his delighted smile quickly wilted into a more depleted and soured frown. “What’s wrong, too much horseradish?” Asked poor, naive little Smormu. Charlie was aware that she only had this job for half a year and didn’t understand why an “exciting announcement” would bring him down like this. “It’s hard to explain.”

Charlie sighed as he reluctantly got up to get dressed as Smormu fled the scene to give him some privacy. Charlie knew very well he was once again going to be stuck in that stuffy, navy-blue suit he just couldn’t stand to wear as not only it wasn’t nearly as loose and comfortable as his “adventure” clothes, the suit alone would remind him of his least fondly-remembered moments of his life. He reluctantly recalled the last time he wore it was when he was invited to a banquet thrown by a precious suitor, Princess Zoey of a neighboring kingdom. He liked Zoey and she liked him back, she even stood up for him when he was being teased by the other noble guests for his “blobfish”-like appearance and nasally voice. It all went downhill after he drank a little too much punch to pass the time and as a result got so violently intoxicated that he was swinging on the chandelier hollering curse words in another language until accidentally ripping the chandelier out of the ceiling and crashing it onto the floor. Not only was Charlie thrown out, the countries cut ties with each other and briefly went to war as a result of this actions. Even if it was two or three-ish years ago, Charlie could still strongly feel the shame and embarrassment he faced in the aftermath of his stunt, especially most dreadful of all his Uncle arriving to deliver a long, harsh lecture on how he’d never find a suitor and even if he was next in line on the throne that the Dompler line would tragically end with him and how he wished his parents lived long enough to spawn a proper heir so that they could pawn their mistake of a son off to some lowbrow kingdom like Spamtopia. Charlie shuddered as his Uncle’s cruel words circled his brain like vultures preying upon a vulnerable mouse. As Charlie squirmed his way into his attire, he felt less like a noble putting on formal clothes for an important Family meeting and much more like a prisoner on death row and on his way to be disposed of by an executioner.

The sharply-dressed yet reluctant Charlie finally crept down the stairs from his chamber, making way into the throne room where his grandmother was perched on her seat with Mr. Boss by her side as she conversed with a man who resembled Charlie, except he looked and acted the exact opposite of her grandson. He was a slender, puke pale yellow critter whose face was decorated in wrinkles and scowl-marks, and two scars adorned on on his lower lip and left eye as marks left over from a war he happily volunteered in long ago to earn his status as a true “Alpha Male”. Behind him was a short maiden with long auburn hair, a large round nose, and a green dress draped with a brown shawl

With an audible gulp, Charlie piped up in an uncharacteristically sheepish manner, “S’up man?” While struggling to face his Uncle eye-to-eye as the older critter turned his attention away from the family matriarch to shoot daggers at his nephew. “Well I’ll be damned, it’s our monarchy’s biggest mistake.” He responded with a sardonic chuckle, continuing: “But don’t worry, you won’t be looked down upon as the Screw-Up Prince of Gremblonia for long…IF you manage to do just one thing right…” and suffice to say that neither the Queen or Mr. Boss where even a little amused by any of the shit that was spewing out of this asshole’s mouth. Mr. Boss was tempted to give the pompous Duke a piece of his mind had it not been for the Queen gently holding him back and pacifying the intense atmosphere with her firm-yet-gentle words: “Now Eustace, please show some respect to our dear Charlie, he is a member of this family after all, Oh! A-aren’t you going to tell us about the suitor you picked out for our boy?” After about five seconds of pure unadulterated silence, Duke Eustace Dompler sighed and continued, barely restraining his resentment towards his nephew. “Luckily for you I picked out a suitor-ette who’s ever-so kindly willing to give you a chance.” said Eustace in a passive-aggressive tone as he stepped back from Charlie to gesture his hand toward the girl he presented to the group: “I introduce before this court Princess Mipnessa of the Enchanted Forest.” Princess Mipnessa curtsied with her own verbal introduction: “Pleasant Greetings, Queen Dolores and Prince Charles.” Charlie’s eyes widened when he noticed Mipnessa’s head-shape, her stubby appearance and her hair, all of a sudden a vague and fuzzy memory was coming back to him but he couldn’t exactly put his finger on it; “Charlie, are you okay sweetheart?” Queen Dolores gently snapped Charlie out of his trance as he started sweating bullets, blurting out: “Salutations, my Noble Maiden Fair!” Queen Dolores and Mipnessa giggled at Charlie’s presentation, assuming he was deliberately clowning around. “That’s my grandson, so spontaneous! You’re going to enjoy his company.” Eustace rolled his eyes at his awkward dork of a nephew. Charlie darted his eyes back and forth until he pulled out his Ocarina to show to Mipnessa. “Dunno if this is the right instrument for serenading but I’ve been playing this since I was a homunculi.” Charlie then performed the melody to “The Raked Hornpipe” which ended in applause from the rest, even Eustace was impressed.

~ Back in the sapphire waves below, Pim couldn’t get his mind off of Charlie, swimming in loop-de-loops humming a sweet melody before barrel-rolling into a bed of water hyacinths to stretch his stubby arms and tail, giggling and swooning over the mental image of that hunky yellow critter. He picked one of the hyacinths and started plucking one petal at a time, murmuring to himself “He loves me, he loves me not…” while the back of his mind was trying to spell out how he was forgetting one crucial thing, now what was it again? Glep picked some barnacles off a rock and crunched them in his mouth like popcorn while watching his twitter-pated bestie in amusement while Alan paced back and forth, agonizing over the hypothetical worst-case-scenario if the Royal Family retrieved Pim and found out about his antics since swimming away from home. When picking the last petal off the hyacinth, Pim squealed: “Oh, I knew it!!”, following by a giggling fit before rising out of the patch to triumphantly declare: “I gotta see him again- tonight!! Graham Nelly knows here he lives! I’ll swim up to his castle, then Glep will swim around to get his attention-” Alan cut Pim off to scold him with a concerned response: “Pim, you know it’s unhealthy to stay out of the water for too long, you’ll dehydrate! Besides, what if some hoard of blood thirsty fishmongers take you and turn you into a three course meal?!” Pim only stared at Alan in a daze before shaking his head, replying: “Oh Alan, not all land folk see us as food for slaughter.” Alan sighed, but not willing to give up trying to talk some sense in the headstrong-lovesick mercritter as a percussion beat in-tune was starting up: “Pim, listen to me: the mammalian world… it's a mess….besides, life under the sea is better than anything they got up there.”

Alan briefly cleared his throat before singing: “The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake! You dream about going up there~ but that is a big mistake.” He gestured his arm upward before making a shrugging pose and shaking his head before dramatically folding out his arms wide with a spin as Pim looked around, “Just look at the world around you right here on the ocean floor~” Just then little Swimming Meeps playfully circled around Pim as the pink mercritter giggled as Alan nodded off: “Such wonderful things around you! What more are you lookin' for?” The lobster started strutting across in a form of dance: “Under the sea~ under the seaaa~ darling it’s better-down where it’s wetter~ take it from meee!!” Glep chuckled at the silly little thought of crudely drawn versions of Pim and Alan, with the former literally taking the ocean away from the latter as he gasped for water. “Up on the shore they work all day~ Out in the sun they slave away~ while we devotin' full time to floatin' under the seaaaa!!” Alan’s song-and-dance caught the attention of other ocean dwellers and it proved to be so infectious that they all joined in, all of a sudden this subtle lecture cast out of genuine concern and worry was turning into an underwater dance party. Alan continued his theatrical editorial: “Down here all the fish are happy as off through the waves they roooll~ The fish on the land ain't happy-“ the tune got to Glep, as even he started singing along: “Eska-daya-zebawa-yo!”

“But fish in the bowl is lucky~ the rest have a worser fate! One day when the boss get hungry, guess who's gonna be on the plate?” Glep made a play-dead pose, stuffing a barnacle in his mouth to resemble a classic example of a roast pig. The crowd of fish and sea life obviously figured out that answer shouting in unison: “OH SHIT!”…not that it could break up the rowdy crowd’s jovial performance as everyone else continued backing up Alan’s number. As much as Pim disagreed with Alan’s view of the Land, he sure found it catchy! Pim twirled gracefully as fish swam around him, even tempting to sing along.

“Under the sea! Under the seaaa! No one can beat us, fry us or eat us~ in fricasseeeee!! We’re what the landfolks loves to cook, under the sea we’re off the hook! We got no troubles, life is the bubbles! Under the seaaaa!” A little chorus of singing meeps repeated back, “Under the sea!”

“Since life is sweet here, we got the beat here~ Naturally!! Even the sturgeon and the ray, they get the urge and start to play! We got the spirit, you got to hear it! Under the seaaaa!!” Some of the sea animals started contributing to Alan’s number with instruments, enriching the sound and building up to the inevitable climax as Alan pulled his conductor’s wand from some invisible pocket: “The newt, play the flute! The carp, play the harp! The plaice, play the bass! Now we’re soundin' sharp! The bass, play the brass! The chub, play the tub and the fluke, you’re the duke of soul!” A deep-voiced fluke agreed: “Oh, yeaaaaah!” Alan continued conducting the group while singing to Pim: “The ray sure can play, the ling's on the strings! The trout's rocking out! The catfish, she sings!” A literally half-fish half-cat harmonized with Pim much to Glep’s confusion. “The smelt and the sprat, they know where it's at and oh can that blowfish blow!” A brief instrumental breakdown ensued before Alan and Pim harmonized at the start of the big finish: “YEAAAAH UNDER THE SEA!!” “Under the seaaa~” “Under THE SEA!” “Under the seaaaa~!” “When the sardine begin the beguine it’s music to meeee!!!” “It’s music to meeee~” “What do they got? A lot of sand? We got a hot crustacean band! Each little clam here they know how to jam here~!”

The chorus began to help out Alan with wrapping up the number on a high note: “Under the seaaa!~ Each little slug here’s cuttin’ a rug here- Under the seaaaa!! Each little snail here knows how to wail here, that’s why it's hotter under the water! Pim, you’re in luck here-down in the muck, here!”

The band belted out one last: “UNDER THE SEAAAAA!!!”

Alan took a deep breath and regained his composure, not expecting to have let himself loose like that. “Well Pim, Whaddya say?…Pim?” As the band scattered, Alan looked around only to find Pim swam away again with Glep following suit. All that work and nothing to show for it! The exasperated crustacean rolled his eyes and snarked: “I swear, even if those two had their fins nailed to the floor, they’d still find a way to break free….”

Just when Alan was about to scuttle off to find his friends, an unexpected visitor snuck up behind him asking: “Alan, have you seen any sign of her?” Alan jumped as he nervously turned around to find Prince Damien, whose stoic exterior was used as a facade to hide the genuine concern and worry for his youngest sibling of which his stubborn father wrote off as nothing more than weakness. Alan was barely succeeding in masking his own anxiety, conflicted in confiding in arguably the least ferocious member of Pim’s family yet not wanting to reveal a clue to potentially lead to Pim to be unceremoniously dragged back home to be further mistreated. “No, but I’m trying my best, your majesty.” Alan started to feel grateful that Pim took off before anyone in his family could encounter him. “I’m gonna keep looking outside of the kingdom for her, I hope to Neptune he didn’t get scooped up by those fish eaters…” Alan just had a morbidly vivid vision of Pim screaming on a cutting board as a chef sharpened his knife. “I hope not either.” A deafening silence fell between the two, until Alan broke silence: “I’m going to keep looking for Pim.” Damien nodded in agreement, responding with: “I’ll look this way, you look over there.” before swimming off. When the coast was clear, Alan sighed in relief and scurried off.

During Alan’s showstopping song, Pim had realized too late he left his cloak on the island after taking it off to maneuver Charlie up on land. While retracing his steps and trying not to panic too badly, Pim remembered where he saw it last: laid out beneath a briefly waterlogged Charlie on the shore near those rocks….unfortunately there was no sign of the cloak as Pim’s anxiety gif to him as he burst into tears, bawling in despair: “My nanny woven that cloak! I’ve had it for so long and yet I’m such a careless idiot that I left it here!!” Glep comforted Pim best he could for a fish out of water, hugging the larger critter’s tail. Luckily good ol’ Graham Nelly cropped up and noticed the anguish of his younger cousin, asking: “Hey man, what’s with the blues?” Pim sniffled, replying with a wheeze: “I lost my cloak…I left it here when I rescued Chawlie.” Graham felt immense sympathy and patted Pim on the back, then he immediately remembered one crucial detail that was being ignored. “Eureka!” Graham proclaimed, Pim curiously asked while drying his eyes: “You know where it could be?” Graham confidently answered: “You know, I remember you using your cloak to hoist Charlie up and lying that salty kelp-critter burrito out on the shore…and when he took off I think he was wearing it-“ Pim’s face it up with a smile, hugging his cousin tightly. “That’s it! Oh thank you Graham Nelly, I love you!” The older cousin chuckled, “That’s not all, come follow me and I’ll take you to a shortcut to outside of his pad!”

Chapter 6 (Which I am typing out atm) Arrives In Two Weeks

[inlovewithalotoffandoms]

Weird Names Prank

Javi Garcia x Reader

Fandom: Power Rangers Dino Fury

Summary: On a random day at BuzzBlast you decide to call your boyfriend, Javi, weird names as a prank and later on in the week he gets you back.

A/N: This fic is based on these videos.

It's a normal day at BuzzBlast, so you walk to your boyfriend, Javi, who was at his desk and called him weird names.

"Good morning, my buttery croissant." You said in a funny voice as you stood behind him. Javi gave you a 'really?' look, and you giggled. After a few seconds, he looked up at you and said with a straight face as he spoke in French,

"Oui Oui baguette."

You laughed at his reaction. An hour or so later, you walked over to Javi, who was making coffee.

"Hello, my little Yankee Candle." You smiled, hugging him from behind.

"Hi, sweetheart," Javi replied.

"Hi." You mumbled, kissing his cheek.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Good." You say in a baby voice.

"Am I a pinewood candle?" He joked. You laughed again, and he smiled.

You saw Javi sitting on one of the couches later on and walked over.

"How's my baby..." you asked, playing with his hair.

"You called me 'baby'." He smiled.

"Hippo. How's my baby hippo?" You added. Javi gave you an annoyed look as he moved away from you.

"No." You state to him while laughing.

You were now at Javi's house, sitting on the couch while he was in his room writing a song.

"Where's my blob fish? How's he doing?" You called out to him as you giggled silently. He poked his head out from the side of the door and looked at you as he spoke.

"You know, blobfish have feelings, too." Javi sassed, pretending to be mad at you.

It's been six days, and you've been calling Javi weird names non-stop, so he decided to get you back.

"Hi, my baby boo bear," Javi smirked, kissing your neck playfully as you made something to eat.

"No." You whined as soon as you figured out what he was doing.

"What's wrong, Love Bug?" He chuckled.

"Oh my god, Javi, stop." You whined again.

"No, I will not, my lil ketchup packet." He answered.

"Javi, I'm not even on my period." You state. Javi laughed, and so did you. You and Javi have the cutest and funniest relationship ever.

[covington-shenanigans]

cat names

so I'm in an a cappella group which is part of a queer community chorus and one of our members works at an animal shelter. today she posted in the a cappella discord: "About to have to name forty cats for the next hour I’ll be collecting wherever unhinged names you can think of"

this was two hours ago. we are still coming up with cat names. the list (SO FAR) is under the cut. tag yourself, I'm Permanently Exhausted Pigeon

we think many of these would be excellent baby names also. as one of our sopranos said, "what is a cat but a baby with claws?"

(note: stuff in parentheses after the cat name is commentary from the person who came up with the name)

Permanently Exhausted Pigeon

Xena: Warrior Princess

Deke Sharon

George Foreman ("and name the next five George Foreman Jr")

Samantha the Evil Twin

Magical Mr. Mistofelees

Stephen

Kelsey Hightower ("this is not a celebrity, but he is well-known in my industry, and his name is a fuckin banger")

John Cena

The Onceler

Pig

Madison

Nancy

Olivia Newton-John

Blake Carrington

The Purple Principessa

Rubik's Cube

Zaphod Beeblebrox

Owl

Fido

Rover

Mystery Incorporated

Quark

Agatha

Vetinari

Evil Grand Vizier

Horatio

Juno

Bob Loblaw

Juniper

Mrs. Shirley Jenkins

Michael Scott

Spot

Jermaine

Churu

Tia and Tamera Meowry

Soup Spoon

Kleenex

Mug

32-Inch Curved Monitor

Shitty Fourthhand Dell Laptop

Taco Bell Hot Sauce Packet

Don't Worry About What Number of Coffee That Is

Hot Sauce

Harrowhark Nonagesimus

Gideon Nav

John

Pussalitus

Shell Script

Bob the Drag Cat

Slay

Right Meow

Pawl McCartney

Fuzzmeister ("something my ex-roommate used to call my cat")

Fuzzbucket ("another thing my ex-roommate used to call my cat")

Furry Bastard ("ibid")

Jessica! [ed. note: yes, with the exclamation point. I asked]

William Shakespeare

Thursday

Laura Jane Grace

Billy the Kitten

Cat 5 ("I CRACK MYSELF UP LOLOLOL this is a nerd joke don't worry about it")

Pixel

The Child

We're Calling About Your Cat's Extended Warranty

Ibid

Ketzeleh

Absolutely not stop eating toilet paper ("Or just TP for short")

Get Down From There You Little Shit

Stop Eating Plastic You Fucking Gremlin

Feather Boa

Matilda

Nectarine

The Trunchbull

Blender

Vlad the Impaler

Jackie Daytona

Zoom Call

Scrungle

Synthwave

Shoegaze

Disco

Sandstorm

Pancake

Cursed Skull

None Pizza With Left Beef

Regular Skull with no Otherworldly Implications

Sardine

Doggo

Blobfish

Monarch Butterfly

Wage Theft

Hidden Fees

Labor Solidarity

Tax Fraud

McNugget

Class Action Lawsuit

Daniel Tiger

Tony Hawk

Treacherous Knave

Simone Biles

Sodium Bicarbonate

Unflavored Seltzer

Francesca

Strawberry With A Flat Battery

Boop

The Thong Song

Eurovision

Queen of the Underhill

Beaver Nug

POSSUM

Space Lollipop

Chocolate Napoleon

Dessert Drop

Madame Iris

Happy Tartan

Tiny Assistant Antonia

Biscuit

Rim Tim Taggi Dim

Fortinbras

Baby Lasagna

Elderly Lasagne

Duck

Middle-Aged Shark ("doo-doo")

Batman

Greek Chorus

Bertie Wooster

Jasper

Gomez Addams

Morticia Addams

Beeswax

and the sibling of Beeswax: Mind Your Beeswax

Roomba

Particle Board

FYP

Mr. Murderbritches

Baked Potato

Delulu

Ampersand ("'&' for short")

Your Mom

Booticall McStuffins

Munch

Shoelace

Bubba

Bye Felinecia

Sillybutt

Charles

Christofur Walken

Train Heist

Doc

Oscar The Crouch

Elmo ("for a ginger cat")

Furmit the Crog

Shrek

Beck

Pauline

Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia

Soleil Moon Fry

Moon Unit Zappa

Trout

Unholy Bargain

Rick Astley

Comic Sans, Ariel Bold, Dingbats

Professor Scrungle McDingus

Bumoley

Dante’s Inferno

Chairman Meow

Pride and Prejudice

2 Factor Authentication

Blue Wheel of Death

Clippy

Circle back

A Meeting The Should Have Been An Email

Chat Offline

I Need To Speak With You In My Office

Wild Thing

Doofus McGroofus

Thneed

Meowzart

Thelonious Meownk

Turnip Face

Dumpster Fire

Santa Claws

Munchkin (Munch for short)

Parsnip

Illegal Pete

Petit Francois

Neck Pillow

Error404

Itty Bitty Kitty (Committee)

Freddie Kruegpurr

Jason

Chad

Chadwick

Silly William (Billy)

Goose

No-Nonsense Billy ("prefers William")

Experimental Jazz

Sibling of Thelonious Meownk

Gulf of Meowxico

Lake Meowchigan

Meownica Lewinsky

Meowchigan State Spurrtans

Buffalo Pam

Cat-herine

University of Meowchigan Wolferines

Bad Band Name

Meowtallica

Joan Pett

Cat Activation Noise

Alanis Meowissette

Petty LaPone

Mayonnaise

The Sauce

Farrah Pawcet

Burger

Topo Chico

Buns ("brother of Burger")

Onion Ring ("sister of Burger and Buns")

Catsup

A Dish Best Served Cold

Revenge ("short for A Dish Best Served Cold")

Small Forestry Man ("or just Small Man")

Helen of Troy

Trojan Cat

Bean

Spatula

Aunt Irmintrude

Worm Off The String

Worm On A String

What Crimes Will He Commit?

Crimini Mushroom

Saffron

Garbage Truck

Louise

Hashbrown

Sir Violence Fourth Of Their Name

PhD

We Can't Afford That

Euphonium

Spork

Doctor Zhivago

Antoine-Joseph Sax

Lump Sum

Chiquitita

Mothman

The Winner Takes It All ("That one the person doesn’t pay for the adoption they win a wet tee shirt contest")

Catniss Neverseen

MacGruber

This Is The Skin Of A Killer Bella

Loca

Haskell

COBOL

Theodore

Rewrite It In Rust

Rock Lobster

Love Shack

Trampoline

Peas Turnip The Beet

Subarubarubaru

Crime

April Showers Kill The Flowers

Ford Fiesta

Sharon

Rodrick

Felony

Jaywalking

Dipthong

Fun With Phonics

LMNOP

RFTM

Quilt

AEIO

AEIOU and Sometimes Y

Consonant

Verb

O R B

Gandalf's Big Naturals

OA

Refrigerator

CatGPT

Feral Beast

Feral Pawcet

Air Filter

Antithesis

Synthesis

Onomatopee-er

California Pizza Kitten

Floor Wax

Shamalamadingdong

Murphey’s Oil Soap

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Mysterious Figure

Mouse ("And her sister Shady Character")

Trackball

The Real Slim Shady

Recessive Jean

[goodideawrong]

WAIT I JUST GOT IT NVM IM DUMB. I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT SONG OMG IT WAS SO ICONIC

i originally wanted to do the blobfish song but blobfish was taken, and another lemonade is more popular than bizaardvark's, so i pivoted to this one!

[sagemonsters]

Jasper sent me to do a monster match. They told me to leave an ask with the info.

Nickname: Azi Pronouns: He/They Orientation: Omni Hobbies: Music composing, sticker collecting Likes: Food, the ocean (marine life specifically) Dislikes: Seafood (ironically enough), extreme heat, pitch-black darkness.

you have a blind date with...

Harmonia the Siren

Harmonia appears as an attractive woman with pale green skin and long, dark green hair as well as amber eyes, gill slits, and webbed fingers and toes. She’s also Deaf. Because of her deafness, Harmonia communicates with her siren and merfolk friends through sign language and never uses her siren song to lure sailors overboard.

Harmonia cultivates a garden of bioluminescent aquatic plants (composed entirely of species hitherto unknown to human science) which she grows in the deep sea. Most sirens are coastal and live in relatively shallow water, so Harmonia is one of the few sirens to make friends with anglerfish, goblin sharks, and blobfish in those species’ preferred environment. Although you can’t go down that deep with her, Harmonia uses a magical camera that can withstand the pressure and water to take pictures of her plants. She makes stickers out of them with the help of some human friends so that you can add them to your collection.

Harmonia loves to eat and try new foods. Once you introduce her to terrestrial foods, she’s hooked, and always down to lounge on the beach with you for a seaside picnic. She respects that you aren’t the biggest seafood fan and will eagerly watch cooking shows on YouTube and TikTok with you on your phone. 

She teaches you sign language to communicate with her, and is always super attentive to your body language. If you’re uncomfortable with something, she knows it, and she’s careful to never cross your boundaries. 

Harmonia’s siren and merfolk friends are very curious about you, and once you’re introduced to them all they welcome you happily. If you ever go swimming in the ocean, there will always be someone watching to make sure you don’t drift out too far or get caught in a riptide.

When you first click “follow” on the blog harmonia-pelagic on Tumblr, you initially think the blogger is a human diver or unmanned submersible operator—and likely also some kind of marine biologist—due to the depth (ha) of knowledge on display. The blogger makes very thorough educational posts about deep sea flora and fauna, and responds gently and kindly to other accounts that express revulsion at the strangeness of undersea life. There are no selfies.

After a few reblogs of harmonia-pelagic’s content with some nice tags, the blogger follows you back! You’re elated, and after a few exchanges of nice messages you settle into a steady, warm correspondence. You learn that Harmonia is Deaf, uses she/her pronouns but feels conflicted about identifying with terminology associated with rigid, human ideas of gender roles, and really likes growing aquatic plants. You get daily pictures of strange, bioluminescent flora and marine fungi that don’t use photosynthesis to remain alive.

When you visit a coastal town for a friend’s wedding, Harmonia reveals that she’s also in the area and invites you to meet her on the beach to watch the sunrise with her. You agree, and set extra alarms to make sure you don’t miss anything.

The pre-dawn light is gray and soft when you arrive on the beach, and the soft murmur of waves lapping against the shore and the distant crying of gulls are the only sounds. You see a figure with long, dark green hair sitting just below the waterline, the foam from the waves seeming to form a lacy skirt about her waist every few moments before receding back into the ocean. Instead of calling her name, you approach from the side so that she can see you coming in her peripheral vision. 

Harmonia waves with a webbed hand and excitedly signs, “hello!” to you. You repeat the sign back to her, and she smiles and shyly shows you the name-sign she devised for you: a combination of the first letter of your name alongside the signs for “ocean” and “friend.” You sign a thank-you and sit next to her, allowing the cool saltwater to flow around your bathing suit with each landward rush of the sea. 

The sunrise is exceptionally clear and beautiful today, exactly like the “rosy-fingered dawn” that the Greek poets wrote about so long ago. The colors painting the clouds along the eastern horizon are so vibrant and beautiful you feel as though, if you stretched out your hand to the sky, then your fingers would come away stained with brilliant, rosy light. You feel a pressure on your hand in the sand, and look down to see Harmonia covering your own hand with hers. She grins at you, her cheeks darkening slightly with a blush.

“I’m really happy right now,” she signs to you when the sun has cleared the horizon and the morning has properly begun. 

“I’m happy too,” you sign back, and you mean it. 

harmonia-pelagic is (for now) not a real blog.

see here to get your own blind date with a monster!

[sleepless-crows]

sorry i can't read the word blobfish without remembering the song olivia rodrigo sang about it

[cedarboots]

tagged by @chiropteracupola to post five songs I like to listen to:

shakedown by valerie june

maggie's farm by rage against the machine

josie-o by adam hurt

meet me in the city by the black keys

little pink by kaia kater

tagging @mycological-mariner, @the-devils-blobfish, @subsequentibis, @sanguinarysanguinity, and anyone else who wants to share!

[potentialfirehazard]

Silly Game Time: COMPLETE THE PHRASE! "The worst musical ever written was about _____, and had a whole song and dance about _____."

The worst musical ever written was about blobfish and had a whole song and dance about the pressure they face (at the bottom of the ocean)

I’m thinking creatively but…

[iamtryingtobelieve]

1, 4, and 57 (red) for the music ask!

1 - Albums or Singles person?

Definitely albums as I do like to sit down and look at the artwork and stuff or look into the era itself with the music videos and iconography.

4 - Is there a song you like but don't like it's music video?

There's a handful where the videos have disappointed me compared to the music. As much as I love David Lynch, I think the video for Came Back Haunted by NIN might be a bit too abstract for my tiny brain. A lot of missed potential and too many weird spooky ballet girl and weird blobfish weird mouths. Need more of the ghoul Trent in his weird opera makeup

57 - Send me a colour and I'll give you the first song it reminded me of?

Colour choice: Red

An easy choice but holy shit seeing the song live twice is an experience. I hope Pale Waves go back to the electronic dancy vibes as much as I love the pop punk vibes of the last two albums, i miss the synths

Thanks for asking Jamie ❤️